is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize