why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize