No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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