it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
What a dumb baby whore.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
