Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
