I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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