Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
You ruined the universe
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
