...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
