Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
