every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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