so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize