I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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