Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
