Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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