i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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