You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
