the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
