Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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