in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize