so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Drunk is not a location!
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
