first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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