hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
