Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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