Well douche your snatch and let's go!
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Randomize
