go do what you do best...puke behind churches
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Randomize
