11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
