Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize