I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
