wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
