A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
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