Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
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