your room smells of hookers.
And success
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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