apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
