All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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