you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
