in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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