It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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