Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize