I'm lost and stupid without you.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
