Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
3pm strippers are depressing
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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