She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
my shit smells like andre
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
