but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
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