you win again, gameday.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
