So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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