It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
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