well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
