nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
