Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
