i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
