I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I want a musical about memes.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize