You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
