mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
