Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
