i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I skipped work to stalk him.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
