I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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