Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
