She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
