We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
