If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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