If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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