Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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