Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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