You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Randomize
