after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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